im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
