I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
