4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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