Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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