my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
