So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i've created a new STD.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
