Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
