Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
try to milk me bitch
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