Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
