found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
