Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
thus making me awesome and them whores
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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