Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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