he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
