There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
