If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
