all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
