were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I smell like Dick and happiness
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
