Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is Oprah even human
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
