come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
