planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My vagina is officially offended.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
