i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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