Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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