If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i came on her dog
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
