Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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