I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
