What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
