he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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