walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
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