I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
