Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
