You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
