I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
