The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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