i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
