Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The air was thick with penises
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
