He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
