Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
