Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
