11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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