ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
