So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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