Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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