I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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