Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
