Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
