your room smells of hookers.
And success
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
