I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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