Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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