You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think people are normalizing furries
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
