He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
